Dr. Norm Cares

PARENTS MAGAZINE OCTOBER 2010 - BEHAVING BADLY - by Karen J. Bannan

Whining

Why they do it: “Whining is an expression of discontent, whether it’s boredom or hunger”  says Norman E. Hoffman, Ph.D., author of Bad Children Can Happen to Good Parents. Plus, your preschooler has probably figured out that whining is a good method of getting your attention, so it’s his go-to-voice when he’s feeling upset or wants something.   

How to deal: Even when the high-pitched whimpering has you reaching for your earplugs, it’s important to keep your cool. Tell your child that you can’t understand him when he whines, and that if he wants to talk to you, he’ll have to use a nicer voice. Then give him props when does use a whine-free tone. Simply ignoring his howls won’t help the situation and could make it worse; if you walk away from his caustic cries for a snack, just think how much crankier he’ll be once dinner rolls around. And don’t rule out tiredness, says Dr. Hoffman. “Sometimes kids whine because they just need some downtime or a nap.” 

Throwing things

Why they do it: Although your kid may genuinely want to see what happens when she launches her sister’s Barbie off the top of the jungle gym, preschoolers usually throw things during fits of anger or frustration or when they want to get your attention. Toys typically tend to fly when you’re on the phone or busy with something else.

 

How to deal: Kids often don’t realize their own strength and that the frisbee they toss around in the backyard can do some serious damage when it’s hurled through the dining room. So if you don’t want to install bullet-proof glass in front of your chinawear, set up clear rules about what can be thrown (soft balls and pillows) and where (the yard and in bed). But if she’s tossing books out of frustration, acknowledge how she feels. “I know you’re bored, but you can hurt someone if you throw things. Once I get off of this call we can read together.” For further protection, add a warning that you’ll take away any toys that are thrown.

 

 

 

 

Good Morning America Interview

Drnorm's recent interview on Good Morning America in response to Dr. Richard Friedman's recent article in the New York Times.

To see the GMA interview go to: On The Air with Drnorm

Dr. Valerie will be featured & interviewed in the Romantic Times.

Download FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Free Seminar

 Download Parenting seminar flyer

Usure whether your child is an “uncaring child”???

If you are unsure whether your child is an “uncaring child”, ask the following questions

• Does your child regularly tell lies or make up stori es to escape trouble?
• Does your child fail listen to parents or teachers?
• Is your child impulsive?
• Does your child seem to have no attachment to personal belongings or people?
• Does your child fail to learn from bad experiences?
• Does your child lack guilt or remorse when such a reaction is appropriate?
• Does your child blame or “tell on” others to avoid punishment?
• Does your child have little or no regard for the rights of others?
• Is your child consistently unreliable?
• Does your child seem to be oppositional all the time?
• Does your child have sudden mood swings?
• Does your child use poor judgment on a regular basis?
• Are your child’s interpersonal relationships poor or superficial?
• Has your child been in trouble with the law, police or a juvenile officer?
• Has your child made threats against others?

An occasional yes answer for any of these questions can be expected. However, if you answered yes to 3 or more, your child may have Uncaring Child Syndrome.

 

SPECIALIZED DIAGNOSTIC FAMILY ASSESSMENT SERVICES BY DRNORM

Ask drnorm about his comprehensive family assessment program. Drnorm has developed an Improvement Program specifically designed to transform the family system from dysfunctional to functionally sound and healthy. You can choose from either of the following plans:

PLAN I:

...is designed so that the family can travel to the Hoffman Institute in Daytona Beach, Fl. In order to facilitate an effective and workable treatment plan, it is essential that the parent's video tape typical examples of the:

a. child’s/children’s target behaviors
b. parent’s reactions to target behavior’s
c. method of discipline
d. interaction between parents and child/children

The family would then travel to the Hoffman Institute in Daytona Beach, FL where they will take part in a
1 1/2 day comprehesive assessment process including a psychosocial interview, diagnostic workup of the entire family system, interactive role-play and modeling, and an individually designed family treatment plan.

PLAN II:

...is designed to accommodate Drnorm to travel to the home of the family. It would be helpful, but not mandatory, for Drnorm to be able to review a video tape of the 4 points listed in Plan I. Expenses for travel and accommodations will be the responsibility of the family. Arrangement for Plan II can be formulated by contacting Drnorm at: [email protected] or by telephone at:               (386) 677-3995         (386) 677-3995.

PLAN III:

Skype.com. is downloaded, and with the use of a wide angle webcam, the children can be observed-live interacting. For the most optimal results, a wide angle or dome type camera equipped with a microphone is recommended. A fairly good wide angle webcam can be purchased for under $100.00. Plan III is the most economical cost-effective process for drnorm to observe- live, the interaction and interpersonal exchanges between child/children and parent/parent’s.

Parent and child assessments would be utilized as conducted in Plan I.

For costs and details about the above plans, contact: [email protected] or call:               (386) 677-3995         (386) 677-3995

To learn more about Uncaring Child Syndrome, get Dr. Norm’s new book, Bad Children Can Happen to Good Parents.

DISCLAIMER

For some people, going to therapy in person is not an option. Those who live in rural areas may not have access to a provider. People who are homebound may not have the ability or opportunity to see a provider in person. Those who travel frequently may find it difficult to make regular appointments. Some people are ashamed. Online Therapy provides consumers with convenient access and more choices - getting the services you need is a mouseclick away.

* Mental healthinformation or advice obtained from www.drnorm.com is not intended as a substitute for live face-to-face care. If you have an emergency or need immediate help, you shold contact 911.

Online Counseling may not offer the same visual cues as face-to-face counseling. This has both positive and negative implications. On the positive side, you, as a client, have easy access to counseling, travel and costs savings and have more control over what you reveal to counselors. On the negative side, it is possible that visual cues, voice intonation, and body language omitted from your online web-counseling may lead the counselor to an inaccurate assessment of your situation. To the extent that this occurs, the counselor may respond to you in a way that is less than optimal for your situation. Some issues would be better addressed in face-to-face counseling. However, via the utilization of DrNorm's Hi-Tech venue, we have incorporated some of the most effective means of faciliating the "therapeautic connection" with the patient/client.

The documents contained in this web site are presented for information purposes only. The material is in no way intended to replace professional face-to face medical care or attention by a qualified psychiatrist, or mental health professional. The material in this web site cannot and should not be used as a basis for diagnosis or choice of treatment. If you find something which should be corrected, please write to: [email protected].

 

Forensic Mental Health Evaluators Workshop

Dr. Hoffman will be conducting a two-day Forensic Mental Health Evaluators Workshop

Dates are: October 1-2 2009
Location: Hoffman Institute 600 N. Clyde Morris Blvd. Daytona Beach, FL 32114

This workshop is exclusively for licensed professional counselors!

12 Most Annoying Habits of Therpists

by drnorm on Mon May 25, 2009 8:27 am

I would like to share some information that was written in The National Psychologist - May/June 2009.
PsychoCentral.com compiled the following list of therapists habits that readers complain about the most:

1. Showing up late for the appointment
2. Eating in front of the client
3. Yawning during a session
4. Too much self-revelation
5. Being hard to reach by phone, cell phone or computer
6. Becoming distracted by phone, cell phone or computer
7. Expressing racial, sexual, musical, lifestyle and religious preferences
8. Pets are generally not an appropriate part of psychotherapy
9. Hugging and physical contact
10. Inappropriate displays of wealth or dress
11. Clock watching
12. Excessive note-taking

Examples of the above are found in this article.

Parenting Advice

 

 

Give kids their freedom without causing yourself worry

By Karen Leland Posted April 06, 2009 from Woman's Day; May 5, 2009

Owning a Phone
It seems that every elementary school kid has a cell phone these days. And while they’re a great way to stay accessible to your children, do 10- and 11-year-olds (or younger!) really need them?

That’s likely a debate that’s been raised in your house more than once. If your preteen is begging for a cell phone and you’re on the fence, ask yourself if he consistently behaves responsibly, suggests Braun. Does he do his chores without prodding? Complete his homework? Obey your rules? Take care of his stuff and not lose things? If he does this most of the time, he can probably be counted on to handle a phone.

But that doesn’t mean simply handing one over. “Even good kids need to be monitored and restricted when it comes to technology,” says Norman E. Hoffman, PhD, author of Bad Children Can Happen to Good Parents, who strongly advises adding cell phone controls.

Five of the most important: Restrict the time of day the phone is in operation, such as no calls during school hours. Restrict specific phone numbers that can be dialed in or out. Limit the number of minutes per month. Require your child to pay at least part of his cell phone bill with his allowance. Take advantage of the GPS option so you can go online to check where your kids are at any given time.

Also, don’t rely on your child’s cell as your only means of contact when he’s not home. “Many parents call their kids exclusively on their cell phones to check in,” he says. “That’s not enough.” Make sure you have the home number of whatever friend your child is visiting.

 

Spotting Incompetent Child Development Counselors

 

There are those in the field of mental health counseling who profess to be child development specialists. Because of one’s length of experience in working with children, how can we really know if the experience was good? Do we really know if the counselor, who is now entrusted to spend valuable time with your child, knows what they are doing?

 

I have seen the ads of these counselors who state, “I have 18 years of experience specializing with children…” The ads go on to indicate they work with every variety of childhood issues. 

 

With the ever growing number of children being diagnosed with autism, conduct disorders, autism spectrum disorders (pervasive development disorders), ADHD, etc.., an iconoclastic review is necessary to dispel this pervasive intrusion of “quackery” and incompetent counselors calling themselves “child development specialist, child behavioral analysis, or any other title designating them as a child behavior specialist.

 

The following is a list of inquiries that all parents of children seeking psychological/psychiatric intervention for their loved ones should make before they agree to allow their child to be treated. This list should only be viewed as a prerequisite, and used only as part of an extensive background on their perspective professional working with their child:

 

1.    Request resume/Curriculum Vitae

2.    Determine from the resume the following:

a.       Length of time working with children

b.       Type and diagnoses of children

c.       Who supervised the therapist

d.       Supervisors credentials as a child development specialist

e.       child development related educational courses of study

f.        Articles authored or co-authored related to children and what type of childhood disorders

g.       What specialized training that focused on child development  (normal and abnormal behavior)

3.    Determine the length of time that the therapist has been licensed to conduct independent counseling in their state.

4.    Request a detail of the process involved in working with your child.

 

Many therapists may be able to discuss the initial process that involves collecting data, but are totally incompetent when the actual treatment process ensues. They will resort to games or meaningless play that is goalless and only acts as a filler and not for any specific means to deal with the focus of treatment.  

 

5.    Discuss how you as the parent will be involved in the treatment process. Although there is an obvious confidential relationship between therapist and child, there are limits that should be clearly defined. Will you be part of the treatment process or excluded from it?

 

The issue of choosing a competent child development specialist is not an easy one; however, if this is an area of interest, please do not hesitate to contact me and join my network for further inquiries.

 

 

 

Soft Signs to Determine if your Child is Using Chemicals

1. Does your chiold seem to be changing? Is your child becoming more inrritable, secretive, upredictable, hostile, depressed, uncooperative, apathetic, withdrawn or sullen, less affectionate, easily provoked, or oversnsitive.

2. Is your child becoming less responsible?

3. Is your child changing friends, dress code, or interests?

4. Is your child more difficult to communicate with?

5. Is your child beginning to evidence physical and/or mental deteriorations?

6. Is your child's behavior becoming more intolerable?

If your are interested in learning more about the soft signs of the above-referenced material, you may contact drnorm at: [email protected]